My ear often gets bent by people who share their sentiments about how difficult it is to date in Austin. I’ve been out of the dating scene for a number of years, but I can’t imagine it has changed too much. If anything, I would think the odds of finding someone to date have improved with the influx of diverse people moving to the city. So I did a little brainstorming, researched the subject and talked with local certified matchmaker and dating coach, Tammy Shacklee, about the subject.

Tammy offered four sensible suggestions that are realistic and easy to follow:

1. Take time to recognize, respect, and enjoy getting to know another quality single.

2. Acknowledge that none of us is perfect (as we’re all about an 8 looking for another 8 to love us).

3. Dating is simply a process of getting to know someone new (which gives everyone a second chance at a first impression).

4. Open your mind and your heart that your ideal and compatible match may come in slightly different packaging that you anticipated (shorter, older, less hair, facial hair, glasses, or simply needing to lose 5 lbs – when he meets his ideal running partner in you).

Tammy’s suggestions are based in everyday common-sense, but in the moment, they can be overlooked.

My thoughts on the subject are that you never know where someone, who would make a suitable dating partner, might turn up. I found mine at a fundraising event! So leave no stone unturned. If prospecting isn’t going well in the environment you’re in, change it. Volunteer with an organization or event that you think a like-minded person would be at. Join a professional meet-up group. Simply get yourself exposed and out there – let people know you’re available to date. Talk to co-workers or friends about potential candidates. Go ahead and let someone set you up, if it doesn’t work out, the only thing you’ve lost is time. Your friends will then have a better understanding of what doesn’t work for you – and that’s a good thing.

People are attracted to someone who has it together, have your ducks in a row and present yourself as someone people would WANT to date. Take care of details, dress like you care, have something interesting to share, and stand out as being different. And one more thing, don’t bitch and moan to everyone about how bad it is, that makes you look unhappy and difficult.

My last bit of advice is to take it slow. It takes time to get to know someone. There may be demons lurking in someone that you don’t see in the early months of dating and if the investment is light and short-lived, then you can turn and walk away without too many repercussions. In my situation, it took many, many months of getting to know one another before we officially started dating. It was the gradual introduction to each other that led to fun discoveries and a bit of intrigue.

Further Reading:

http://www.gayguys.com/2015/08/stop-breaking-relationship-isnt-perfect/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-weiss/beyond-grindr-matchmaking_b_7672792.html

Contributors:

Tammy Shaklee, He’s for Me President / Matchmaker
www.H4M.com or www.facebook.com/H4MMatchmaking

Side note:  Notice I did not mention social media for dating. I think that outlet is poisonous to the process. Social media apps are vile. They put too much into first impressions, particularly looks. They don’t give you an opportunity to learn nuances of personality, they can often be hyper-sexual, and they give people the option to opt out or simply swipe past you. Stay out of that realm, it isn’t classy. Meet people in real life, not the virtual one.