Lifestyle

  • Why My Political Angst, You Ask?

    If you’re complaining about my political rants, you just don’t understand what I feel is at risk; not only for myself as a gay man, but for democracy as a whole. Seriously, I am desperately bothered by this administration and its actions.

    Let’s start with what threatens me the most about this presidency and Republican rule, the War on Truth. 

    President Trump appears to live in a world where the podium is “an elephant.” The only facts that count are the ones that support this imagined world. As of early May, The Washington Post reported President Trump had made over 3,000 misleading or false claims since taking office. ~Forbes

    3,000, just let that sink in. Three Thousand lies or misleading comments. No one should accept that from a leader of the “free world.” It is grotesque and a slap in the face to the rules of democracy and civil engagement.

    Republicans and the gays.
    Workplace discrimination
    Blocking adoptions by LGBT people
    Refusal to deliver services based on religious freedom
    Attacks on transexual service members rights and liberties
    Removal of LGBT language from government websites
    Trumps timeline of hate

    So you can’t be surprised that I am not a fan of a President who wants me to have no rights or liberties as an American citizen. I am not a political outcast. Mark my words, if Trump proclaimed “kill the gays” at a rally, people would come after us with a vengeance.

    Facism.
    His rhetoric is violent and dangerous. He touts his separatist and confrontational views at all his rallies, on twitter, and in interviews. It is “lather, rinse, repeat,” with his rhetoric and dogma on the campaign trail.
    You don’t think it is an issue?  Please inform yourself.

    “Fascism may not describe what Trump has done, as opposed to what he says. But what he says matters and can create its own dangerous dynamic. It is possible for a leader to be incompetent and still profoundly corrupt the people who follow him, undermining the virtues — tolerance, civility and compromise — that make democratic self-government work. It is possible for a foolish leader to leave the imprint of fascism on a portion of his followers. And the language used by Trump — particularly a certain racially tinged nostalgia and a tribal resentment for the other — strikes me as at a higher level of prominence and acceptance than at any time I can remember. So maybe, rather than fearing a fascist dictator, we should fear the legitimacy of fascist modes of thought in the Republican Party.” ~Washing ton Post

    “Donald Trump takes pride in breaking the norms. It validates his self-image. He does this with impunity. What’s so disheartening is of course that the Republican establishment has totally backed him. They see no cause for alarm. Aside from high-profile former Republican commentators who now work for MSNBC and a small number of “Never Trumpers,” most Republicans have been very loyal to Donald Trump. That is very disturbing for what it suggests about the health of the country’s democracy.” ~Salon

    Humanism.
    People have come to the Unites States to escape political and economic turmoil for decades. We are a nation of immigrants who left oppressive situations and sought opportunity in a better place, America. Trump has categorically turned all immigrants into villains. He completely lacks empathy for immigrants.

    “Immigration more than pays for itself. Immigrants add $1.6 trillion to the economy each year. Of that, $35 billion is a net benefit to the companies and communities where they live. The rest (97.8 percent) of that growth returns to the immigrant workers as wages. They repatriate $25 billion back to family members in Mexico. They spend the rest in America.” ~The Balance

    Republican capitulating.
    My problem with republicans is that they have surrendered themselves to a madman. Trump is vile, likely a criminal, a known sexist and self-proclaimed harasser. He does not stand for American values or morality. Republicans lift their heads to a false prophet and smile because….
    They get their tax cuts (thank you for the deficit addition)
    They get their Supreme Court nominees (it is solidly conservative and rulings will affect a generation, if not two)
    They get religious law overtaking secular rule
    They marginalize the rights of minority classes (African American voting rights, LGBT rights, “Dreamers” rights)
    They will cut benefits in Medicare and Medicaid
    They will decimate access to health care and insurance
    They will cut to social programs as a means of attempting to balance the budget

    What price glory, I ask? Trump’s presidency and followers sicken me to the core. This is not democracy any more, this is elitism, fascism, xenophobia, and rule by old white men who care not for progress, but for themselves. I hope the mid-terms bring back some semblance of normal and we get smart, qualified sane people running this country.

    You may not be scared, but I sure the hell am.

     

    Further Reading:
    The Deficit
    Trump’s Scandals
    Trump’s Defenders
    Trump’s Tone
    Instagram
    PBS Honesty Check
    Enough Platitudes

  • ACL

    Stuck in My Head

    Have you ever been fond of an odd/obscure song that you’re not quite sure why you like it, but you just do? I’ve got a few to share. No idea why I’m fond of them, but according to iTunes, I listen to them multiple times.

    Melt My Heart, Book of Love

    Mile High, Blondie

    Blue Jeans (Chris Menace Remix), Lana Del Rey

    Sunshine in the Rain, Bodies Without Organs

    Shapeless and Talking Dirty, Vitas

    The Girl is Mine, 99 Souls

    Dodged a Bullet, Greg Laswell

    Are You on Drugs, Fine China

     

     

    Enjoy!

     

  • Austin Opera Dinner photo

    Skin Deep

    We all know there are a number of negative factors that influence skin looking healthy; smoking, sun, sleeplessness. However, we also know there are many great things for skin; sunscreen, sea salt scrubs, surfactants. Add to that; good genes. I don’t have a particular regime, but I do have some tricks up my sleeve that I’ve relied on for years.

    Firstly, wash the oil away. I have the “T” zone problem. Forehead to nose, I am always dealing with a bit of a shine. Oil production is, obviously, a natural process of the body, but if you lead an active lifestyle, it can be a nuisance. Sweating in yoga, during your workout, or while on a run significantly adds to oil production in your skin. Shower frequently and as quickly as you can post work out. That alone is a must.

    Secondly, use a high-quality cleaner, soap, or astringent. I’m not too keen on using harsh products on my skin, but I am a fan of pharmaceuticals. Witch Hazel, a lightly abrasive astringent made from bark and leaves of an Asian ornamental plant, is an excellent skin cleaner. It is also inexpensive. I use a purifying cleanser product from Skinceuticals. I discovered the cleanser in 2011 and swear by it for keeping my super skin clean. I occasionally apply a pharmaceutical grade Retin-A cream (.025) at night to prevent inflammation or clear blemishes. My general practitioner provided me with a prescription to help with some of my skin issues. I also use a phyto-corrective gel to control redness.

    Lastly, use sunscreen. Sun exposure is awful and very damaging for skin. I still love being out in it, but it does terrible things to the skin. I like a professional grade product that’s specifically formulated for the face and neck. If you have previous sun damage, like myself, there are measures you can take to improve your skin, namely photorejuvination. Commonly known as IPL or photofacials, these treatments (you’ll need more than one) can drastically improve skin’s appearance. Ain’t no shame in admitting that I’ve had the procedure. I swear by them. You can buy package deals to get your skin to a healthy state, then simply maintain annually with a couple of follow-up treatments. And don’t forget to apply on the tops of your ears and the back of your neck.

    At 50, I know I’ve got an uphill battle, but I think I can age gracefully and even counteract years of sun exposure, bad health habits, and genuine neglect. I had boyish looks forever, but those times are behind me. I am certainly not quite ready to go under the knife. That drastic of an intervention not only scares me, but I have great anxiety regarding the potential outcome. So I adhere to the practice of care and maintenance. If you only follow one bit of my advice, please use sunscreen. I drove convertibles for years and the tops of my ears, my nose and my cheeks became sun damaged from my youthful “throw caution to the wind” attitude towards skin care ~ and I never used sunscreen. Bad Scott!

     

    Skin Products photo

     

    Want to have some fun? Send an email to someone you dislike in white letters.  Fucking Glorious.

     

     

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  • cast your photo stock photo

    No More Banana Republicans

    We have to get sane people into political office. The Banana Republican party has no concern for women’s rights (“save the unborn baby, but don’t take care of the woman having it”), LGBT people are pariahs (“ain’t no queers in my family”),  and everybody needs a gun (“Yee-haw, let’s give all teachers a machine gun so they can play shoot-em-up at school!”).


    PLEASE
    go out and vote. I know it is difficult to know who to vote for, who is running for what office, and what the priorities are that you need to support. Below is an excerpt from the Austin Chronicle with personal notes added from my talking to and studying the Democratic candidates.

    Statewide Race

    Governor: Lupe Valdez

    We’re not impressed with either major Democratic candidate and call on the Texas Democratic Party to get their shit together. But meanwhile, we encourage you to support Lupe Valdez over Andrew White. The former Dallas County sheriff is the first Latina and openly queer woman to be elected to that post in Texas, a meaningful feat. She’s unapologetically progressive, vocal against anti-LGBTQ discrimination, Gov. Greg Abbott’s immigration demands, and her migrant farming roots granted her the empathy needed to fight for the working and middle classes. Valdez has actual public officeholder experience – a clear edge over her main opponent. We wish Valdez would refine and polish her policy proposals, better study the mechanics of state politics, and offer greater detail and continuity about her vision. But even with those shortcomings, Valdez could, at the very least, mobilize Latino voters and the state’s progressive base, making her our choice over White. The Houston entrepreneur and son of late Gov. Mark White is a party-line centrist and moderate Democrat, personally pro-life (he swears he’ll veto anti-choice legislation); a critic of “weak” borders; and donated to the Kentucky GOP in 2005. His business-friendly milquetoast centrism is the opposite direction Democrats in Texas should be moving.

    (Scott:  Andrew White is the son of Mark White, a former Texas Governor, which might have some pull at the polls. In this anti-LGBT climate, I worry that Lupe’s sexuality will be attacked by the right-wing zealots making Republicans come out in droves to vote for Abbott.) 

    Lieutenant Governor: Mike Collier

    While we might interest moderate Repub­lic­ans perusing this progressive publication to vote for Scott Milder – a local public school activist who’s against the bathroom bill and called Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick a “jackass” (yes, really) – Democratic readers would be best served voting for Mike Collier, a former state party finance chair and retired Houston accountant. Collier’s platform diverges in all the best ways from the current right-wing overload in the Texas Senate, from immigration to LGBTQ rights to women’s health. On education, he hopes to adequately fund public schools by closing corporate tax loopholes that solely benefit large corporations, and will fight to make tuition affordable for the working class. He’s supportive of labor unions, raising the minimum wage, and ensuring access to affordable health care. We endorse Collier’s vision for the state.

    U.S. Senate: Beto O’Rourke

    We offer an enthusiastic and strong endorsement of U.S. Rep. Beto O’Rourke for Senate. The energetic, passionate O’Rourke’s brand of campaigning feels inclusive and personal and, dare we say, earnest. And his calls for universal health care; support for the DREAM Act; closure of for-profit prisons; increases in infrastructure spending; curbing corporate money in politics; expanding family planning services; and marijuana legalization are framed not just as platform points, but a moral and ethical choice – one we’re genuinely eager to make. O’Rourke seems to be the standard by which we hope politicians measure themselves moving forward.

    Railroad Commissioner: Roman McAllen

    Former Brownsville city planner McAllen’s calls for anti-cronyism, greater public transparency and accountability, and water protection measures make him the right choice to head the state’s oil and gas regulatory agency.

    Comptroller: Joi Chevalier

    We appreciate Tim Mahoney’s longtime local Democratic activism, but small-business owner Joi Chevalier is better qualified to be the state’s lead tax collector and accountant.

    Land Commissioner: Miguel Suazo

    Austin oil and gas attorney and former U.S. Senate aide Miguel Suazo is best suited to manage state-owned land and mineral rights properties.


    U.S. Congress

    CD 10: Mike Siegel

    Like the other four Travis County congress­ional districts, CD 10 is heavily gerrymandered, meaning that Travis voters will likely dominate the Democratic primary – and yet be reduced to much weaker influence in the November general election. Although there are seven candidates on the Democratic ballot, only five are actively campaigning, and of those, Austin assistant city attorney Mike Siegel is the only one (with the exception of Katy attorney Tami Walker) with sufficient professional experience and organizational support to become a substantial challenger to deep-pocketed GOP incumbent Michael McCaul. In addition to his legal work defending Austin from state overreach (e.g., Senate Bill 4) and on behalf of tenants’ rights, Siegel has been a teacher and a union rep (providing an organizational base). A strong blue turnout now and in the fall for Siegel could make the difference.

    CD 17: Rick Kennedy

    That CD 17 (anchored in Waco and College Station) has not drawn this year’s flurry of Democratic candidates suggests something about the GOP stranglehold enjoyed by incumbent Bill Flores. Of the two political neophytes filed in the Dem primary, both progressive on the relevant issues, we narrowly endorse software engineer Kennedy (over graduate student Dale Mantey) as more likely to have sufficient professional experience and potential resources to mount a practical November campaign. If the Texas blue wave indeed eventuates, it just might lift all boats.

    CD 25: Chris Perri

    Democratic voters face a tough choice in this district currently held by Republican incumbent Roger Williams. Five strong candidates is a good problem to have – but the voting booth will allow for just one selection, based on qualifications, progressive policies, even perceived electability. Facing the same questions, we narrowly endorse Perri, largely on grounds of his legal and pro bono activism, and his apparent ability to create and engage organizational support for a campaign capable of an uphill climb toward the general election. We also thought very highly of attorney Julie Oliver and health care professional West Hansen. Anchored near Ft. Worth, CD 25 reaches southward into Travis and Hays counties: We urge voters in both counties to turn out March 6 and give full weight to their voices come November.

    CD 31: Mary Jennings Hegar and Christine Eady Mann

    Of the four candidates, Dr. Christine Eady Mann is running the most explicitly progressive campaign, and decorated veteran Mary Jennings “MJ” Hegar might be the most electable in this very conservative district.

    CD 21: Derrick Crowe and Elliott McFadden

    That we’ve opted for a dual endorsement in this race reflects the relative strength of several of the candidates, as well as the real possibility that this House seat – owned by retiring incumbent and science-denier Lamar Smith for more than 30 years – should actually be in play in November. Voters may prefer Crowe for his urgent focus on climate change and his Capitol Hill experience; others may respond to McFadden’s lengthy record of local activism on health care and transportation (i.e., the B-cycle initiative), and affordable housing. We also acknowledge the considerable institutional Democratic support for Joseph Kopser, who argues that his combination of entrepreneurship and military experience makes him most likely to appeal to the many independent and crossover voters in a district drawn to elect a Republican. The candidate emerging from this strong primary field should be tested and ready.

    (Scott:  I like Crowe, he’s reached out to the LGBT community and I actually talked to him at an event. He is young, but he’s persistent. McFadden over Kopser, fyi.)
     

    State Legislature

    Senate District 25: Steven Kling

    We believe a scarecrow could do a better job at representing Texans than state Sen. Donna Campbell, but are thankful to have an impressive and formidable candidate in Steven Kling. The former Army reserve captain and Bronze Star recipient served two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan before returning home to help lead an IT consulting firm. Beyond his pro-choice and pro-LGBTQ views (in stark contrast to Campbell), Kling is an advocate for anti-corruption and campaign finance reform, acknowledging that the GOP has devised a “smoke screen of diversion” and “divide and conquer politics” which fail to represent the regular taxpayer. He understands both the delicate balance one must strike with Republicans and the need to be aspirational in a state like Texas.

    House District 46: Chito Vela

    Brazenly, Rep. Dawnna Dukes appears unfazed by the corruption scandal that plagued her time in office last year, and her poor Capitol attendance during the Legis­lative session. She also skipped our endorsement meeting, allowing her challengers to stress their attendance records and proclivity to “show up.” Thankfully, District 46 primary candidates – specifically former Austin Mayor Pro Tem Sheryl Cole and immigration attorney Jose “Chito” Vela – didn’t just tout this low benchmark, but offered quality policy proposals and a breadth of experience. Cole has served on City Council, championing affordable housing, pay equity, the revitalization of Waller Creek, and marriage equality (a first statewide), and her experience in leadership positions of government could make her a deft negotiator on the House floor. And while her progressive platform points – Medicaid expansion, LGBTQ rights, a living wage, and marijuana legalization with tax funds going toward education – in many ways mirrors her main contender’s, we believe Vela is best suited to lead the district. The former Workers Defense Project board chair, Austin Planning Commissioner (however often unprepared he was), and Open Records Division assistant A.G. learned the Capitol’s ins and outs while serving as general counsel to former state Rep. Solomon Ortiz Jr. We’re confident he knows the way the game is played. Further, Vela appears to deeply understand the Lege’s growing extremism and vows to be a vocal fighter (or “brawler,” as he put it) in defense against the zealous discrimination and right-wing culture wars. At the same time, he promises to work with Republicans and the business community to find common ground on mutual interests. We look forward to seeing Vela put up a much-needed fight under the Dome.

    (Scott:  I like Sheryl Cole here as she is very pro LGBT, she’s reached out to the LGBT community.)

    House District 47: Elaina Fowler

    We are glad to see a slate of quality candidates running for District 47, a spot currently led by conservative Rep. Paul Workman. The choice wasn’t easy considering the candidates’ passions and backgrounds, but we believe Elaina Fowler is most qualified for the legislative role. She’s a former chief of staff to state Rep. Helen Giddings and as a state director with the American Federation of State County and Municipal Employees (AFSCME) is now in charge of lobbying for retiree rights and secure pensions. While we applaud candidate Candace Aylor’s mental health advocacy; Sheri Soltes’ economic vision; and Vikki Goodwin’s focus on public education, Fowler’s experience with the Legislature best equips her with the institutional knowledge to maneuver the Capitol. Fowler also has a demonstrable record of working across party lines, having co-written a bill (among the handful she’s written) with former right-wing firebrand Rep. Molly White. And while we’re heartened to see most candidates offer a rebuke to Workman’s hypocritical attempts to stifle Austin’s democratically passed rules and ordinances, we believe Fowler will most successfully fight for local control.

    (Scott:  I met Vikki Goodwin and she came across as very educationally focused. She was a bit meek, but she did make an effort to reach out to the LGBT community.
     

    Travis County

    Commissioners Court, Pct. 4: Margaret Gómez

    We dearly wish Democratic voters in Precinct 4 had better choices. Gómez, persistently a passive and unimaginative official, seems content to rest on her decades of incumbency and her fiscal conservatism – while simultaneously complaining that the county budget doesn’t provide sufficient resources for her southeast precinct (a perennial failing that she blames on her fellow commissioners). Unfortunately, challenger Susanna Woody, an AMD project manager and Del Valle ISD trustee, while expressing general support for progressive causes, appears utterly unprepared for the office – including never having attended a Court meeting. Neither seems particularly engaged in the details of policy matters, although Gómez is marginally better attuned – not high praise for a 23-year incumbent. Questioned on Central Health, on infrastructure, on the civil courthouse crisis, on city-county relations, both candidates respond with platitudes rather than any sense of the complexity of the issues facing Travis County. In a weak field of two, Gómez is the default choice.

    Justice of the Peace, Pct. 3: Sylvia Holmes

    Incumbent Susan Steeg has had a distinguished career as an activist attorney, counsel for the state Dept. of Health, and a decade as Justice of the Peace, where she’s done good reform work. The less experienced Holmes has done dedicated legal work for those who find themselves in JP Court – students in legal trouble or in conflict with landlords. A testy campaign has included indirect feedback from Steeg’s courtroom and staff that she’s become punitive to her staff and inflexible to those who appear before her. We think either choice will result in a reasonably functional Pct. 3 court – but on balance, it’s time for a change, and a breath of fresher judicial air, with Holmes.

    (Scott: No strong opinion here. Donna Howard has endorsed Steeg, if that means anything to anyone. Holmes has around 20 groups endorseing her, but I have no idea of LGBT issues.)

    Travis County Democratic Party: Dyana Limon-Mercado

    For a race nearly marred by controversy, Travis County voters are ultimately given the choice between two excellent candidates with bona fide credentials in the fundraising space. We urge voters to vote for Dyana Limon-Mercado, whose connection to Austin’s activist network and commitment to grassroots fundraising makes her the ideal candidate to truly reform the party. We respect attorney Anne Wynne, who seems both a sure bet as an executive and a progressive voice on local issues, but we believe Limon-Mer­ca­do will bring perennially underrepresented (and sorely needed) voices to a party that has been dominated by the same faces for too long.

    (Scott:  I tend to go with Anne Wynne here b/c of her long-time involvement with the LGBT community and activism.
     

    Judicial

    459th District Court: Aurora Martinez Jones

    The 459th is a new court, established to handle civil cases, the type all three candidates (Martinez Jones, Greg Hitt, and Maya Guerra Gamble) know quite well through professional experience. The latter two are attorneys who often work in family litigation and fraud cases; Martinez Jones is the only one with judicial experience, as an associate judge in the Travis County Civil Courts. Each candidate appears fair, progressive, and thoughtful. Martinez Jones is the one best fit to manage the new court from the beginning.

    (Scott: I’ve met Maya 3 times and my vote goes to her.  She’s very smart and has worked in family law for many years. She seems to be compassionate and empathetic, qualities that I really appreciate.)

    331st District Court: Chantal Eldridge

    David Crain has been a judge in Travis County for 33 years, and for the past seven has presided over the 331st District Court, which handles felony cases. He carries an establishment opinion of how to be a judge, which at the district level to him means putting an unfettered focus on trials. He’s unapologetic about not running specialty dockets, running counter to certain colleagues and certainly his challenger, an indigent defense attorney who sees diversion programs and pretrial services as being just as vital with felonies as they are with misdemeanors. Eldridge ran for the 450th District Court in 2016 and lost (we endorsed Brad Urrutia), but has returned a stronger candidate, with specific plans (including bringing the mental health docket Crain has handed off to his magistrate up to the felony level) that would place her among the busiest judges in the district. We don’t work in the judges’ chambers and can’t say with certainty how much time it takes to oversee administration of a felony case from start to finish. But we’re willing to give Eldridge a chance to prove she can do more.

    (Scott: Crain has done the job and is seasoned [like 30 years], but I don’t have a strong opinion here.)

    County Court-at-Law No. 3: John Lipscombe

    The county courts-at-law see misdemeanor cases, and often bear witness to plea bargains and creative terms of adjudication. John Lipscombe has prided himself on those during his seven-year tenure in CCL, particularly his specialty court on Wednesday nights, wherein low-level offenders meet with him sans attorney. Paul Quinzi, a defense attorney who cares deeply about expunctions and nondisclosures, has made that Wednesday docket a primary target of his campaign, but we were dismayed to learn he had never attended a session nor talked to a defendant who’s been through one. Both candidates boast liberal ideals about first offenses and nonviolent offenders, and while we may prefer Quinzi’s explicit progressivism to Lipscombe’s prosecutorial background, presumptive accusations are not a good look for a prospective judge.

    (Scott: Paul Quinzi stopped by the house to introduce himself to me and explain a bit about his positions. He seemed to characterize his ambitions as being a reformist. He mostly chatted about his perception that the criminal court system was flawed and that it should be more willing to work with people.  I still don’t have a stong opinion either way on Lipscombe or Quinzi.)

    County Court-at-Law No. 5: Nancy Hohengarten

    This race has never been about best serving the people who come through CCL 5 – and those suspicions were sealed when McKinley Melancon told us she’s running because of a perceived personal slight by the incumbent and Mario Flores followed with similar sentiments. We recognize Hohengarten may not be the most stoic of CCL judges, and that her years as a prosecutor sometimes put her at odds with defense attorneys. But her efforts toward criminal justice reform are real, and her challengers, both criminal defense attorneys (Flores also works immigration cases), have done little to suggest that they’d be improvements over the status quo. Hohengarten’s ideas are simply better, more refined, and tangible.

    (Scott: I think McKinley Melancon is actually a better advocate for progressive ideals than Nancy Hohengarten.)
    Condensed fort the Polls:

    Statewide Races

    Governor: Lupe Valdez
    Lieutenant Governor: Mike Collier
    U.S. Senate: Beto O’Rourke
    Railroad Commissioner: Roman McAllen
    Comptroller: Joi Chevalier
    Land Commissioner: Miguel Suazo

    U.S. Congress

    CD 10: Mike Siegel
    CD 17: Rick Kennedy
    CD 25: Chris Perri
    CD 31: Mary Jennings Hegar and Christine Eady Mann
    CD 21: Derrick Crowe and Elliott McFadden

    (Scott:: Go Crowe  ^^ )

    State Legislature

    Senate District 25: Steven Kling
    House District 46: Chito Vela  (Scott:  I like Sheryl Cole).
    House District 47: Elaina Fowler

    Travis County

    Commissioners Court, Pct. 4: Margaret Gómez
    Justice of the Peace, Pct. 3: Sylvia Holmes
    Travis County Democratic Party: Dyana Limon-Mercado (Scott:  I like Anne Wynne)

    Judicial

    459th District Court: Aurora Martinez Jones  (Scott:  Vote Maya Guerra Gamble!)

    331st District Court: Chantal Eldridge
    County Court-at-Law No. 3: John Lipscombe
    County Court-at-Law No. 5: Nancy Hohengarten  (Scott:  Vote McKinley Melancon).

  • Why I Left Twitter

    facebook logo

    Early in January I executed one of my New Year’s Resolutions; leaving Facebook and Twitter. I’d been on Facebook since 2008 ~ an early adopter as compared to the masses in the 2010’s and beyond. As for Twitter, I never got into that platform until the 2016 election cycle. …and that’s where my distaste for these two platforms began.

    The rhetoric, the memes, the hyperbole, the blatant lies all played a part in my decision to throw my middle finger into the air at both sites. I wholeheartedly loathe both of them. Not that I didn’t think there wasn’t an opportunity for healthy discussion in social media, but true intellectual engagement never existed. Having an opinion is one thing, (you know the expression…), but if it is not an educated opinion, it is worthless. Feelings don’t trump facts.

    I’ve made it through the 21 day abstinence period, so if I had a propensity for an addiction I have safely exited that time frame; thankfully. What do I miss about Facebook?
    1. Keeping up with people that don’t get to interact with frequently.
    2. Seeing the children/family of long-time friends.
    3. Birthday reminders (thankful they synced with my calendar) and the ease of sending birthday wishes.
    4. Event invites. You might as well have fallen off the Earth!
    5. A place to be a smart-ass. I did have a lot of fun being silly and not having that outlet is a lot less fun.

    What I don’t miss?  1. The bullshit.  That sums it up!

    IMHO, Twitter can crash and burn. With 45 blowing that site up hourly, I don’t want to have anything to do with it. Hate-filled speech seems to be no violation of any policy. Anything goes in Twitterland; porn, harassment, sexism, misogyny, etc…

    Where to now?  Happier places. Pinterest for fun and curious things I like. Instagram to see what my friends are up to and post my life happenings. It’s really been alright after saying goodbye. However, it has also certainly been quite different without those two social media outlets in my life. I know I’m not the only one who is ‘over’ these two platforms. They wreaked havoc on our democratic process and directly aided a foreign government in meddling on our 2016 election, that’s unforgivable.

     

     

     

    4 months later…..

    Why I came back. Since I wasn’t on fb, some party invites never found their way to me. Seems like facebook events are the go to means of party planning. So I am back on the platform because I have FOMO. I plan not to engage in it too deeply though…

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  • a some card on age

    Ageism and The Gays

    On a random January Sunday, I invited a few of my friends over for cocktails and dinner. While everyone was having a great time enjoying the food and imbibing on margaritas, I noticed a central, unwelcomed, theme in the conversation; ageism. Knowing that gay banter can frequently be tongue-in-cheek, pointed, flippant and “shady,” I initially brushed off the comments as I am mostly thick-skinned. After the event, I found myself frequently lost in thought reflecting on the critical behavior of my friends. There were a few revelations in my retrospective. Firstly, my guests were not all gay, so everyone was in on the “fun.” Secondly, the age of my guests ranged from 27 to 36, placing 14 years between myself and the eldest guest. Thirdly, a mob mentality persisted. Every guest participated in the “let’s poke fun at Scott’s age” bandwagon.

    While I certainly understand my friends having some fun and being a bit silly, I was quite taken back with the ferocity of the criticism. Aging is something I can’t escape. Frankly, I believe I’m managing my aging quite well. I’m quite happy about making it to midlife essentially unscathed. I’m healthy, financially secure, fit, and confident; qualities that everyone should be proud of. Having those qualities overlooked then being pointedly attacked for my age, didn’t have me doing cartwheels about the people I called my friends. Friends should prop each other up, not snarkily criticize them.

    Many years ago I was having a heat to heart conversation with my mother and asked her for her best piece of advice on life. She didn’t hesitate one second to say, “Keep your friends varied. All ages and all walks of life.”  I’ve tried to embrace that philosophy, but I find a sourness growing towards my younger friends due to their fixation on my age. There’s so much more to talk about and engage in other than sophomoric attacks on age. So mom, I’ve changed your mantra a bit to, “Gather friends who are varied, smart, intellectually engaged and supportive.”

    I second this meme from Pinterest, apparently quoting Angel Bassett.

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